seize the day

Friday-Monday foray.

12 hours of air travel hell fun.

True story: about 3 years ago I ate a pot brownie on the tarmac before taking off from San Jose -> LA…. I’ll never do that again… I was thoroughly convinced that plane was going to crash with every slight bit of turbulence…. also the two bags of complementary peanuts were insufficient to appease my appetite by about fourteen bags.

lillianmeredith:

a man is what he does he said

for straight and solid purpose

to daydream riches in my head

I don’t belong in womanhood

when all the ladies I attend

have hair and shoes and skirts that fit and don’t have holes and go together

and I have clothes I bought at seventeen or twentyone

which makes me say I work at this and that

and study this and pursue that

to try to say I have some meaning

while eyes light up like yes oh yes

they know me now, the eyes

and I nod empty and whisper good

at least I am defined

an artist actor admin expert

when what I want to say is that I love

when all I have at hand is flat foot shoes

to walk a hundred miles and think my thoughts

and wonder how you write a piece of music

or sing a song

or stop the world

to pause at nunneries and think I could (for fleeting moments)

that I could tend that gated garden happily

or else I think I could have been a whore except I cannot fuck and flee

I wonder how many of the perfect women have sugar in their bowls at home

the men who keep them looking like adults

and how many cold are self made staring down at me for losing my potential

how many do I envy for every twenty that I judge

I’m not supposed to say I’ll leave for love

I’m not supposed to say I’ll work alone

I’m unfulfilled by either and by both

I want to fill me in but cannot seem to reach

so I just smile when he says again

a man is what he does and yet

I do not know what makes a woman

y
o
u

f
i
l
t
h
y

s
w
i
n
e